3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
