Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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