We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
