jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
be right there i have to get my cape
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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