Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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