I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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