Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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