On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
