already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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