I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
