Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
