Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
