my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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