I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So much rum. So many feels.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
