I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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