Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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