i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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