You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
