haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
