Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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