nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize