Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
