If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
