watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
