I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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