and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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