Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
