i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
