man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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