arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
