A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
