We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize