My nipple is on Facebook.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
