perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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