is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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