dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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