I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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