I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
as a side note pls kill me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
