She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
