Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You pole danced in your parka.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
