It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
