were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
