She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
