found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
