I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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