I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
