You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
