you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's blow job season.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
