Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize