found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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