I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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