laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
As shirtless as possible
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize