sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
