oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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