this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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