Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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