It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Princesses don't give blow jobs
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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