My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
